summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
