He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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