Welp...herpes.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
