The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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