You work out of a Hotel?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
