; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
