This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
