Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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