so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
