it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
