My room smells like vodka and shame
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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