why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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