I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
