Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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