the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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