he thought i was a dude.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's rum buckets o'clock
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
