Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
