He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
