I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
