i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
