please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
