i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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