please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
