He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
