you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
