I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
