He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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