Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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