if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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