so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Someone came in the potted fern
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
