so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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