apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
