if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
