You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
