I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize