DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
