Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize