he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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