I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
