Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
