i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so that wasnt chicken after all
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
