Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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