when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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