On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
