so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
