There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
