Got a toothbrush?
wanna go halves on a baby?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
