PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
True strength comes from lack of pants
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
