I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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