using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
