Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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