I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
