it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
