Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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