Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
