I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
