yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
