Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
