my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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