It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
