I wannas sexs uuuuu
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
