Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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