At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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