i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
