I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize