i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
