oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize